Are You Lonely In this Crowd?

The world is full of people. We share a space with many other people. Our immediate and extended families, our friends and acquaintances, our coworkers, and the members of our community. Together, all of these elements help to make us part of a crowd—not literally, of course—but close enough that we never feel alone or as if we are on an island by ourselves. Even so, many of us experience feelings of isolation. To what group do you belong?

When you are lonely, you do not have anyone with whom you can share your most intimate thoughts. You are having problems at home. You are having issues at the workplace. You are having problems with the members of your family. You and your friends are having some difficulties. You are harboring a significant amount of pain and guilt within yourself. You have a lot of goals and aspirations, and sometimes you will require assistance. You have no idea who to ask, do you?

It seems that you are all by yourself. You feel all alone. You are under the impression that no one gets you. Despite your difficulties, you cannot communicate and share your feelings. You will not receive helpful advice if you discuss work-related issues with your spouse, domestic partner, or significant other. They have their own insights and suggestions regarding your predicament, but your perception of the truth is very different from what any of them hold. As a result, after conversing with them for a while, you keep your mouth shut.

You try to chat with friends about your problems. But before you tell your story, they want to tell you theirs. What other people take for granted is something that you give a great deal of importance to. What do you do? Should you make an appointment with a psychiatrist? In what way will that be helpful?

You have the constant sensation of being very unsettled. You desire mental tranquility above all else. You decide to walk alone, but your thoughts don’t let you get very far. This mental turmoil can no longer be tolerated in its current form. It seems that you are all by yourself. Do you want to talk with someone who can see things from your point of view and advise you on what to do?

Are you a member of this group of people? Do you feel lonely? Do you also think you have no one with whom you can discuss your most private thoughts? Have you begun to get the impression that everyone is being self-centered? Who could possibly have time for someone like you? No one is interested in trying to understand you? Is no one concerned about you?

In a circumstance such as this, what options do you have? Even though you may feel helpless about the situation, action must be taken. When dealing with such agitation, the first thing that you should do is try to keep your mind off of things for some time during the day. Get involved in something that will keep your mind off of itself and give you something to focus on.

Any pursuit that can completely absorb your attention and time. Any activity that diverts one’s attention away from one’s current preoccupations, be it watching television, reading a book, watching a movie, or reading magazines, can bring a sense of calm. The next thing you should do is enquire among your acquaintances to see if anyone you know is experiencing the same condition. How is it that they can do that?

You must redirect your focus away from yourself and towards other people. Start taking in what other people have to say. Inquire about their well-being and pay attention to their responses. You may discover that a few other people are also in the same boat. Try to have a conversation with God even if you don’t believe in religion. Share your life and views with Him. Ask for help.

Raise your own self-esteem first if being in a large group of people makes them feel isolated inside their own heads. You must say, “OK. Nobody besides God will fully comprehend what I am going through now. It’s not a problem. I am going to challenge myself by setting some objectives. I will work hard to accomplish them. The quality of my life is a priority for me. I intend to lead my life to look back on it with pride. I am aware that I am a good person. I could care less if others don’t get what I’m saying. I’ll try to understand the challenges they face and help them. Let me start contributing first rather than pleading for help.”

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